Beautiful. The people that work at the airport? I didn’t even get to taste them. “Tell me; I’m confused. So they were excited for the bachelor party. As a burglar, you can’t even prepare for something like that. I grew up with an immigrant family. They got nothin’. We don’t run home and tattletale on the restaurant. I feel like I’m working, right? I know a lot of people like to go in the midst of people. I don’t chitchat, all right? Coming to you straight from the Rialto Square Theatre in Joliet, IL to your seat at home! The place reeks of cash. And they’re dressed as the character in the movie. It happened to be urban weekend. I’m starving, right? No topic is off-limits - but perhaps we all should be just a little embarrassed. Huh? You want to… “It’s ready, honey! We are doing our best and praying each following day will bring better than the last. The TSA… the security checkpoint. It’s Propecia. Something’s going on in the country. “You’re collecting a lot of cash during the Mass, “and nobody’s getting a cut. I dated girls who weren’t even Italian. Upset that we even showed up to fly. Come on! Taking a photo of yourself? She comes right in. In their early 20s, they all started families, start popping out kids. So nice. before they both barge inside the house which was occupied by Sebastian Maniscalco, 50, his wife, 48, and their two children aged 11 and 14 on April 4.  Â, At this point distressing screams can be heard from within, with a female voice yelling 'Hey!' Brodacz was pronounced dead at the scene by police, who had been called by the couple's 14-year-old child. All right, not even a new one. I got married last year, and I’m happier than shit. Just gel, hair spray, cologne. “Stay! I was working three, four funerals a week, during my lunch hour. Congratulations.” He said, “Where are these people gonna park?”, It’s good to be home. Their balls have been detached and thrown in a purse somewhere. Sebastian Maniscalco returns home to Chicago to perform in front of a live sold-out audience in this all-new comedy event. Ever walk in there? It’s a workout. But today, just throw it up in the Google. The damn thing will just come in. I’m like, “Dad, could we get a dog?” “Dog, yeah. So nobody gives you the eye.” I go, “What eye?” “The fucking eye!” Italians, Sicilians, they believe if somebody looks at you they could literally give you bad luck, just on a look. When you’re packing it at home, you tell your wife, “We’re never gonna make it with the…” “It’s okay.” “Okay, I’ll pack it, huh?” So heavy, right? They’d get into the car. It’s fun being married, sharing my life with a beautiful woman. You’re Sicilian!” Okay, Dad, relax. Now, I don’t know how you people do the pool, but when I go to, like, a public pool, hotel pool, I go away from the people. I didn’t mean to speak. You have to open with that: “Listen, I know my eyeball’s looking into ‘DVDs’ right now.” And I could say, “Okay, what eyeball can I trust? You guys are great. What’s…? It was Black Weekend in Miami. People say “same corporation, different division,” all right? “So go upstairs, “lay down, refresh, “and come back down when you’re good and ready to operate your day.” Not my family, okay? Get some noise going. My buddy had a bad shoulder. There’s always a Band-Aid; there’s always a loose Band-Aid in the pool. But we talked a lot on our trip. Love Chipotle… they make a really nice burrito over there. You unzip it and it just unfolds. They listen to the same shit eight hours a day, right? We get along… there’s an obvious, you know, thing with the religion. She’s like a dog, she likes to play. Chicago woman, 27, is shot dead while waiting in line... Judge refuses to release prisoners from Chicago's Cook... Arlington Heights police release doorbell video of home invasion, Man charged in death of alleged accomplice in brazen daytime home invasion, Arlington Heights police say - Chicago Tribune, Prosecutors: Arlington Heights intruders hoped to find $200,000 cash. Sebastian Maniscalco. He was bleeding from a head wound allegedly inflicted by Bodacz and carrying a gun, and told officers he had shot the offender. “Got my man-cave. Listen, if you got a fucked-up eyeball, and you’re in sales, you gotta tell me that right off the bat, okay? I never made a sign. Why are they doing that?” There’s a group of guys came down loud. “I can’t do it! Chihuly art hanging from the ceiling. My wife chills me out, all right? What are you trying to fix… at your home with four Band-Aids? Wyoming Valley Motors. It’s so big, when you unpack, you got to hang it. She would put slices of potatoes with a rag… I go, “Don’t we have any Tylenol? You look around now, nobody’s working. Maniscalco shoves the would-be robber back outside his home and can be seen throwing a series of punches Finnan escapes the Maniscalco's grip and dashes away from the scene. Went to Best Buy looking for a TV. So I asked for a water; I filled it up with Coca-Cola. You’re 42 years old. You’ll be talking, hanging out, right? Nobody could find it. We need Halls.”, But as odd as this upbringing might’ve… might’ve been, they taught me passion. Offering to get us groceries, prepare meals for our family, get or buy us clothing. She’s doing the ticketing, the boarding passes, and the father’s off to the side, like a dunce, sitting there with his son hanging off his chest in some type of kangaroo sack. And they sit right next to me. Hers? That’s it. “Stella D’oro? I go, “What are you doing? I go home after my shows. He’s petrified! What? Is this a casino? Okay? Anyone ever fart into a towel? Something was nibbling… on my father’s tomatoes, okay? You’re like, “I don’t know why this is funny. Do you know how alone you got to be… …that you can’t find anybody to take a photo? They hadn’t had company in 13 years. Loves people. Neat. My wife is like, “What is he doing?” I go, “I don’t know.” Now, I handle that. Where are you at?” Now the buddy’s got a man-cave he can’t stop talking about. They start passing out pamphlets, like, reading material… I’m, like, “What’s going on? Went back to her place, started to watch a movie. I’m looking at some of you. I went to my first Passover dinner. They instilled work ethic into me at a young age. I watch and I go, “How are they reading here?” 118 degrees, they’re reading a full-blown book. Nobody could see it, right? I had to ask her, real cool… this is in the beginning, where you have to be cool with everything… You’re, like, “Listen, you got a bathroom or something like that?” “I don’t know why… you got a bathroom “or something like that, or something? Now they’re in chat rooms and… Where are people getting the time to do half of the stuff they’re doing online? I’ll start working funerals, okay?” That’s what I was doing. Duct tape on the ha… on the handle. This Internet, there’s something for everybody. “No one’s looking for that, Steven.” But when you’re in your 40s and you… go on a vacation, a lot different than when you’re 20. “Hi! “You want to pet an animal? “Yeah, I’ll bring in the part and I’ll pay you for the labor. Behave.”. Bin Laden’s people didn’t know what was going on. The burglar’s in the living room. I watch SEALs, Special Ops, Rangers, documentaries. I’ve been working since I’ve been eight. Jews have no idea what the hell they’re doing in the kitchen. I can’t stop watching this stuff. “I could get the crown. I’m gonna send Julio in your yard. Some of you are not. Can take out a giraffe, no problem. We had vats of Vicks, they would just… rub… just rub me. Something you can’t share, first month of dating. He comes through a kitchen window. “They’ll come set up some traps. Then I would have to hover over the water. Radisson Lackawanna Station Hotel Scranton. Aren’t you embarrassed? Good, good. I’ll come home, and the pizza delivery guy will be in the house, while my wife goes to our secret stash… and pays him. I come from middle-class upbringing. There’s no more gel. Every part of that airport bothers me. The security in their airports… unbelievable. Okay? If you have a medical mask on, and you answer the door, that’s gotta be the first thing out of your mouth, okay? 30 years ago, if you liked to dress up as a baby, nobody knew that. I had real silverware. Bar & Grill. You picked it off the tree! Five years old, I’m watching 60 Minutes, going, “This is terrible what’s going on in Lebanon, huh, Dad?”. What does the lawn have to do with a puppy? Proof the Pfizer Covid vaccine works in the real world? One of the, uh, one of the helicopters fell out of the sky. Guys were still in the air. I’ve never called my buddy. No, a friend came over the other night. I knock on the door, the guy came to the door, had a full medical mask on. Advertising Agency. I was the last guy to get married, all right? I-I love this city. He’s stealing valuables. My buddy’s, uh, ex-military. And my wife has to come get me. Salesman came out. Started talking through the mask. You want me to pause the movie?” I said, “No, actually, could you, could you turn it up a little bit? Those are some of the many idiosyncrasies that the wildly popular comedian … After breakfast, they fall apart, the Jews. Where at? We’re here, right?” They start coming out of the helicop… They surround the house. youtube.com. Totally different. What is this all about?” And I’d have to explain, “Nah, it’s for the demons, you know? Maniscalco wanted to know if that’s par-for-the-course for Watt's guests or if it was a one off. I’m not a Vegas guy. PETER WALKER: Are slim people ALWAYS fitter than fatties? We need something, okay?” The priest says, “We don’t pay for Mass. The guy never pays full price for anything. It was time for me to check in, right? Finnan could face a life sentence if convicted and will next appear in court on April 21. Got my beer in my little koozie.” Man-cave? Comedian. Hi…” My buddy… being ex-military, he’s ready for the end of the world, this guy. Would you come out here?” I go, “She’s eating the cherries.” How does she know I’m not making a cherry pie with that? Have you seen people’s… Have you seen people’s feet…? “Get it away from me! I’m in third grade.” “Well, I’ll pack you some coffee, then!” So I would eat the lunch, run over to the church, work a full funeral. Young. Head down, right? I’ve never wrote on a cardboard box my feelings… stapled it to a stick, drove the stick somewhere… and marched around in a circle for 12 h… “Justice for…!” Some of you are laughing at this. We need food. Thank you. I swear to God. I’ll take the hanging. Okay? 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